Understanding why and how we, as unique, neurodiverse individuals learn, how we move, why we interact how we do and how to live our best life, is a gift that we all deserve.
Recognising our challenges and understanding where they come from, knowing your "story". This can empower us to frame things more positively:
Some Examples
-I was carrying a fear of the world with me when I was born, so I developed strategies very early on to please those around me so I would never be alone. My brain works very quickly, multitasking and second guesssing, playing conversions and scenarios over and over. I think and talk very quickly so I find it tricky to slow down enough to write legibly and need a lot of reminders to slow down if I'm talking to a group. I also find it hard to sit still, preferring to be on the go and doing things. I learn best by doing things and trying things...
-I was born prematurely so my sensory processing system was overwhelmed when I was a newborn. I find it difficult to simultaneously keep my balance whilst I'm also listening and watching where I am going. If something I'm looking at moves quickly I fall and if a noise startles me I can loose my balance. I have found that if I talk a lot thats something constant that keeps me balanced, physically and emotionally. So quiet can be unnerving for me. I also avoid looking at people as people move and their faces change which is a lot of information for me to process...
- my brain didn't get enough oxygen when I was born which has affected my balance and my speech. I understand everyone and love learning which it is important to me that people know. I find it difficult to make all the adjustments that are needed when we are balancing, so tend to lean on support when it's there to make it easier for me. When I speak it's hard to coordinate all the muscles so it doesn't come out very clear. Because of this I avoid speaking and wait for others to realise what I want, or I gesture using my hands and body...
- I was born very early and there was a bleed in my brain when I was a baby. I get distracted very easily so find it hard to focus and follow if people talk to me whilst other things are going on. I like to get my hands on things and manipulate them, I can also distract myself doing this and then miss things happening around me. I often feel overwhelmed by the busyness and noisy-ness of the world around me. I found when I was young that if I hold tension in my body this constant pressure helps me feel safer. As a resust of this some of my muscles are very tight and I only use one of my arms for reaching out and holding things...
Knowing your own story is important, it means more than just knowing you have a diagnosis; adhd, autism, cerebral palsy... these labels mean something different for everyone.
Maybe the most important reason we value spending time understanding who and why we are who we are, is so that we can notice and recognise when it's time to let parts of our story go. When it's time to change our story, to add in past tense and then remove parts completely that no longer feel important enough to be in the blurb at all.
When we have developed skills that mean we no longer find balancing difficult, we no longer need to avoid eye contact, as we have the skills to remain grounded even when someone enters the room; we have the skills to process the smiles and confused frowns our peers make as we chat. When our minds are calmer and more peaceful we no longer find it hard to be still.
We can feel grateful for the strategies we develop that help us survive in challenging times. We can use the understanding we have to know when it's time to let those strategue go. When we can trust the skills we have developed. Giving permission to ourselves or our children to no longer identify with the story as we wrote it yesterday. Being brave and writing your next chapter. Maybe even knowing that it's time for a whole new book with a different blurb completely.
If you haven't written your story yet, get stuck in. Don't get to attached to the gnarly, challenging bits though. Often times once we can artfully (sometimes with some help) really understand where and why the challenges we face exist, we notice we have more space to unravel them with a view to letting them go.
If you have a family blurb, check in with yourself, with your children and start writing your new chapters. Be open to noticing when a brand new front cover feels more fitting.
Understanding why and how we are unique and what makes us us, is a huge part of meeting our challenges with positivity and journeying towards meeting the best Us we can be.
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